I want to say I'm sorry

To somebody from the past.

I've wanted to for years,

But am doing so at last.

Not to him; I can't do that…

Not because of fear or pride.

Just because "making things right"

Is sometimes really very wrong.

But it bothers me inside,

And I feel his soul on mine.

I know we're all responsible

For our actions -- yes, him, too.

But my dad said, "life's not fair"

With good cause to think this true.

Still, I can't help sharing blame

Knowing I was the unfairness

In a life that made it choose

To share my dad's conclusion.

I wish that I could say to him

I know I did him wrong.

Although I'm sure he's said this

For himself -- to himself -- all along.

The thing is, he's a good man,

And I know somewhere inside

He'll never let himself

Completely buy that -- though it's true.

And though I haven't seen him

In so very many years,

The ghost that is the him I knew

Still asks what he did wrong.

And I say, "Nothing."

But know that he hears nothing

Of what I've said.

And I am sad…

As I should be,

While I hope he's not.

I hope that my ghost

Has faded long ago

From his regrets.

And that he's happy

Now. Forever.

But I still wish somehow

He could know

That I know

Life's not unfair…

Although sometimes people are.

And that I was one of those…

And will someday be again

To someone, somehow,

Because of -- yet against --

My will.

And so to him, and to them,

I so want to say

I'm sorry.

Now. Forever.

Because I am.