Chapter 4 A New Day (Part 2)
“You want to come in and hang out?” Chris asked as he slid out of the passenger seat.
“Nah – thanks, though,” Josh replied, without further explanation. Chris looked puzzled, but hesitant to inadvertently touch any more raw nerves, merely nodded. Hearing his unspoken questions, Josh volunteered, “I’m gonna head back to the apartment. I should probably catch up on some things. I haven’t picked up the mail since I got back – fun stuff like paying the electric bill.”
“That’s cool. We’re playing that new place across town tonight — you know, if you want to drop by. I think we go on around 10…give me a call later if you’re coming.”
“I will,” Josh answered mechanically, not noticing Chris’s pensive expression as he gave a quick tap on the door and nodded again before turning toward his building, He paused at the entrance to glance back and wave goodbye, but Josh, his mind elsewhere, merely continued to look straight ahead as he pulled away.
Josh had just unlocked the door to the apartment when he heard the phone ringing on the other side. He dropped his keys on the table beside it and picked up the receiver.
“Yeah, Tommy, what’s up?” Josh asked, then after listening a moment, “Okay, slow down,” he said, slipping into a chair. “You talked to who from the label and he said what?” His face clouded as he listened to Tommy’s explanation on the other end.
“What do you mean, they don’t want to record the album here?”
A period of silence on Josh’s end, followed by, “Yeah, okay,” in a tone indicating he hoped it might seem he was actually considering a matter on which his mind was already made up.
More silence followed. More “yeah, okays.” Finally, he’d heard enough and scoffed incredulously.
“Why do they want us to go to New York, for God’s sake? Suddenly there aren’t enough studios in L.A.? They had to drag us up to San Francisco for the showcase as it was.”
Full rant mode taking over, Josh cut off Tommy’s attempts to interrupt. “Don’t these people think we have lives, or what? Well, thanks to them I don’t have one anymore, but – ”.
Standing up abruptly, Josh continued, “Look Tommy, I can’t talk about this now.” Silence. “Yeah, I know this isn’t just about me…no I’m not pissed at your pointing that out right now. You’re right. We’ve got to get the whole band together and decide – a lot of things. I’ll call you.” Another silence. “Yeah, I will. Thanks, man.”
Josh let out a long breath and ran a hand through his hair. Glancing around the familiar surroundings that no longer felt much like home, he grabbed his keys and headed out the door again.
The diner was beginning to serve its first dinner customers as Josh walked in and automatically glanced around for a familiar face. Mentally chastising himself, he looked embarrassed and confused when a different familiar face greeted him with a curious smile.
“I didn’t know if I’d be seeing you in here for a while,” Allison offered cautiously, automatically slipping a menu out of the rack near the hostess station by the front door.
“Your usual spot?” she asked, and at his nod, motioned him to go before her through the corridor.
“I can find it myself,” Josh said, adding almost apologetically, “If you could just bring me some coffee when you have a chance, that’d be great.”
“Coming right up.”
“Thanks, Allison.”
Josh slid into the mock-leather-upholstered booth in the far corner of the dinding room and stared unseeingly out the window for a few seconds, wondering why indeed he’d come here, of all places. Absently pulling two sugar packets from their small rectangular wooden holder, an object he suddenly noticed closely resembled a miniature lidless coffin, he pondered anew how many reminders of death swam around him everywhere in previously unnoticed forms. Or so it seemed to his tired mind. But then, fatigue could distort anything, he was beginning to realize. It could be merely a plain round bowl his dull senses were converting to something more suited to his mood. Not that he was feeling awake enough to even discern his mood. It had come as a hard lesson the past few days that a person could be literally fall-down tired and still unable to sleep. It was proving an even harder one that a person still had to function on some level when morning came. Was it irony, he wondered dully, that he’d just now ordered coffee? Maybe he should have asked for decaf. “Ah well,” he thought. If I’m not gonna sleep either way, at least the caffeine might give me a fighting chance of feeling awake for a while.
The clink of a mug against Formica prompted Josh to look up, where he met another uncertain smile from Allison. Expertly pouring coffee from an insulated carafe with one hand, she emptied a pocketful of creamers from her apron onto a small saucer with the other. After asking automatically, “Can I get you anything else,” she hesitated in response to Josh’s polite refusal.
“We’re not that busy yet,” she said at last. “I’ve got a few minutes if you want to talk.”
Josh knew he wasn’t up for much in the way of conversation; he’d had about enough of that earlier in the car with both Chris and Tommy. But he also knew Allison was hurting, too. And, he could only imagine how much, given what might prove the comforting normalcy of getting back to work for someone else was for her the nagging reminder of Julie’s absence from working by her side.
“Sure,” he said, motioning her to take a seat across from him. “Coffee?” he inquired, nudging his yet untouched cup toward her. “Something to eat? That is, if I can find a waiter,” he added, looking around in mock-exasperation. “Geez, what’s a guy gotta do to get served in this place?”
Allison couldn’t suppress a giggle. “You know how it is. Good help is hard to find.”
“No wonder if they can’t even feed you.”
Letting out a full-fledged laugh that caught herself as much off guard as Josh’s sudden turn of wry humor had caught him, she fought for breath to choke out a response.
“You kidding me? That’s the only way they keep employees at all. You screw something up here, they don’t dock your pay; they make you eat the mashed potatoes.”
It was Josh who laughed at that, using almost forgotten muscles it felt intoxicatingly good to exercise. They sat in silence for a moment, Allison wiping her eyes and giving Josh a quick, suddenly shy smile. Noticing that the diner was beginning to fill up, she said, “I really should get back to work,” and slid out of the booth. “But, you stay as long as you want. The coffee’s on the house.”
“You sure that’s okay with the house?” Josh asked with the renewed hint of a grin.
Allison smiled, pulling out her order pad as she turned away, tossing back one last retort. “Come on. You don’t really think I’d risk being forced to eat the meatloaf.”
And, with that she was gone, leaving Josh alone once more, with the first hints of wakefulness he’d known in many days…and a still, now not even lukewarm, untouched cup of coffee.
Maybe he did know why he’d come here after all.
